My relationship with my parents is better. After staying far too long at Coopers, Austin and I traveled to Indiana to stay with my parents for a week. Boy was it good to be home. My parents and I had a long drawn out conversation about the last 3 years. I am so different from my siblings and they didn't know how to deal with it. I hated going to church and my whole family is extremely religious. Both of my sister's married around age 30. One has 2 kids and the other has no children. My brother has a huge house, he's a lawyer and he and his wife have been happily married for 14 years and have 5 children. And my brother Michael has been fighting for our country for 7+ years. Their relationship with God is one that I could never relate to.
My differences scared my family. I was a nerd in high school, I never really hung out with friends. I was so sheltered and never let my parents into my social life. I grew a lot from high school to college where Graham and I began our relationship. They never knew about him until one day I told them I was engaged. They were mad because they'd never met Graham, never knew anything about him and here I was giving my life to him. I did'nt want to be married in a church which was important to my parents. All of my siblings were married in the same one. I picked up and moved from a small town in Indiana to the shittiest town, Castle Apartments. I followed the man of my dreams and spent a good life with him here.
After being in Indiana I began to realize exactly how crazy Castle apartments is. I ultimately decided that I can't live here anymore. I returned home a few days ago, well not to my home, but to Harry and Miranda Sminote's home. I feel weird calling their house my home. Because it isn't and it never will be. It is the home of Graham's parents and my son's grandparents. We will visit whenever asked, but 8 months have passed and it's their turn to grieve their own way without having to hide it from me.
While I was in Key West a Realtor called me and informed me that someone wanted to purchase my apartment if I was willing to let it go. And by all means I was. I didn't even realize I had put it on the market, in fact I hadn't. But this was great news for me. I wanted to put that apartment in the past. I had no belongings in it anymore and I rarely set foot in it. It brought back memories I was unwilling to relive.
I am officially not a member of the Castle apartments community and this couldn't have happened at a better time. There is far too much crime, death, and kidnapping. It isn't my ideal place to raise my family. If Graham were still here then by all means I would have stayed, but he isn't and I have to do whats best for me.
Laney hasn't been found and the detective on her case died a few days ago. At the clinic I volunteer at on my off days, a schizophrenic man named Sile N'Bhroin was murdered for taking another mans appointment. The murder is a man named Cleak. A man that I have crossed paths with in my time at the clinic multiple times. If he killed a man he barely knew, I could only imagine what he could do to me. And for the saftey of my child I imagined Laney a sweet innocent girl who was unable to fend for herself. The person who kidnapped Laney could take my son away from me and I wouldn't know how to function.
I refuse to live in the Sminote's home for another day. I have figured out that if I quit my job I will have enough money to live on my own for about 2 years. Graham left me all he owned, and my apartment sold for far more than I bought it for.
Tomorrow I will quit my job but for tonight I will sleep at the hospital. I will miss Paige and her husband Mark. I will miss my co-workers and everyone I met here. But this is good for me.
I will figure out where I am going to live tomorrow. But for now I am homeless.
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