Number 11

My relationship with my parents is better. After staying far too long at Coopers, Austin and I traveled to Indiana to stay with my parents for a week. Boy was it good to be home. My parents and I had a long drawn out conversation about the last 3 years. I am so different from my siblings and they didn't know how to deal with it. I hated going to church and my whole family is extremely religious. Both of my sister's married around age 30. One has 2 kids and the other has no children. My brother has a huge house, he's a lawyer and he and his wife have been happily married for 14 years and have 5 children.  And my brother Michael has been fighting for our country for 7+ years. Their relationship with God is one that I could never relate to.

My differences scared my family. I was a nerd in high school, I never really hung out with friends. I was so sheltered and never let my parents into my social life. I grew a lot from high school to college where Graham and I began our relationship. They never knew about him until one day I told them I was engaged. They were mad because they'd never met Graham, never knew anything about him and here I was giving my life to him. I did'nt want to be married in a church which was important to my parents. All of my siblings were married in the same one. I picked up and moved from a small town in Indiana to the shittiest town, Castle Apartments. I followed the man of my dreams and spent a good life with him here.

After being in Indiana I began to realize exactly how crazy Castle apartments is. I ultimately decided that I can't live here anymore. I returned home a few days ago, well not to my home, but to Harry and Miranda Sminote's home. I feel weird calling their house my home. Because it isn't and it never will be. It is the home of Graham's parents and my son's grandparents. We will visit whenever asked, but 8 months have passed and it's their turn to grieve their own way without having to hide it from me.

While I was in Key West a Realtor called me and informed me that someone wanted to purchase my apartment if I was willing to let it go. And by all means I was. I didn't even realize I had put it on the market, in fact I hadn't. But this was great news for me. I wanted to put that apartment in the past. I had no belongings in it anymore and I rarely set foot in it. It brought back memories I was unwilling to relive.

I am officially not a member of the Castle apartments community and this couldn't have happened at a better time. There is far too much crime, death, and kidnapping. It isn't my ideal place to raise my family. If Graham were still here then by all means I would have stayed, but he isn't and I have to do whats best for me. 

Laney hasn't been found and the detective on her case died a few days ago. At the clinic I volunteer at on my off days, a schizophrenic man named Sile N'Bhroin was murdered for taking another mans appointment. The murder is a man named Cleak. A man that I have crossed paths with in my time at the clinic multiple times. If he killed a man he barely knew, I could only imagine what he could do to me. And for the saftey of my child I imagined Laney a sweet innocent girl who was unable to fend for herself. The person who kidnapped Laney could take my son away from me and I wouldn't know how to function.

I refuse to live in the Sminote's home for another day. I have figured out that if I quit my job I will have enough money to live on my own for about 2 years. Graham left me all he owned, and my apartment sold for far more than I bought it for.

Tomorrow I will quit my job but for tonight I will sleep at the hospital. I will miss Paige and her husband Mark. I will miss my co-workers and everyone I met here. But this is good for me.

I will figure out where I am going to live tomorrow. But for now I am homeless.

Number 10

3 years. I haven't seen, heard, or talked to my parents since 2009. They didn't even come to my wedding. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life and they couldn't forgive me for 2 hours while I gave my life to the man I love. And now? They want to be a part of Austins life? Who do they think they are all of a sudden?

I had to leave. I had to get out of this town. Having my parents here would only make me even more claustrophobic. There are only so many places to hide.

Austin and I caught the red eye flight and we arrived at Coopers house around 6:50 Friday morning. Cooper and I have known each other forever. If Graham and I hadn't discovered each other, I probably would have ended up with Cooper. He's brilliant, funny, smart, good looking and most importantly would do anything to help a friend out. Graham and Cooper weren't the greatest of friends until after Graham and I got married. Graham always felt threatened by Cooper and my relationship with him.

Like I said, Cooper would do anything to help a friend out and that's how I'm sitting here looking out over the Ocean so spur of the moment. Cooper had a lot of surprises in store for me. We went out to a quick kid friendly dinner one night, drank wine on the porch, and took a beach walk two nights ago.

Last night was a different story. I woke up to Cooper caring for Austin, who barely slept last night.When I woke up Cooper had a bouquet of Roses sitting next to my bed along with a mimosa. Boy did I need it! Cooper told me he'd hired a babysitter for the night and that he bought tickets for a concert.

Little did I know, my parents had contacted Cooper and they were going to babysit my son. This is far from what I ever expected and something I never wanted.

The next 45 minutes I stood with my parents, Cooper and little Austin in sight screaming at the top of my lungs. I was acting like a teenager again I was having a temper tantrum at 25 years old. I wouldn't let them touch Austin. Austin was crying, I was crying and my parents were crying.

Finally Cooper got me into a room, one that I had never seen before in this 4 story modern beach house, where he calmed me down. I hated him. I was so angry with him. I wanted nothing more than to go back home. I left the comfort of the Sminote's house in order to avoid my parents. I was planning on having a nice vacation enjoying the company of a man I can call my best friend. But of course with my luck, they show up here.

"I wanted nothing to do with my parents Copper! You have to understand what I have been through with them. I have fought too many battles that have ended badly. I am independent and I have moved on from them. Just like I am trying to do now with my Graham situation."

"Your Graham situation Riley? Do you realize how long it took ME to get over YOU? After you chose Graham over be because he was more "established in his career"? Is my being a lawyer not good enough for you?"

"Cooper? Are you really making this about you? Do you know what I've been through?"

"You've told me, hell and back. But you have to stop. It's been 7 months. You have to live for you and stop wanting people to feel sorry for you. I brought your parents here because they want to rekindle their relationship with you. This is for your own benefit and the benefit of your son. You can't let him grow up not knowing his father and then on top of that not knowing his grandparents. Let them babysit him Ri. It will be good for him. And good for you. They supported you through college and they want to support you now. Forget the past, you have a whole future to live for."

"3 years Cooper! I can't get that time back!"

I was furious, but Cooper was right, I stopped hating him for the time being and realized why he was my best friend again. We proceeded to go to the concert and when we got home Austin was sound asleep. I don't know how my parents got him to sleep, that child only ever sleeps when I need to be awake.

But then I remembered, they'd raised me and my 5 siblings. They were experts by the time they got to me. For the first time in 3 years I was thankful for them and all they had ever done for me. I actually considered forgiving them and trying to love them again. Too soon though.

I'm not quite ready to move on from the pain of the last 3 years.